I believe that information is best passed on person to person and that is how I like to do things. I like a certain intimacy in my communication and sometimes I don’t think that I can achieve what I want to do with this blog with the style that I am using it. So… hmmmm… Where do I go from here.

Well, I’m thinking of changing this to more of a project blog. Something to chronicle the things that I’m doing in life. Not my opinions and such. You can still get those by asking me, but I don’t think that the world cares that much. So I’ll be doing something new soon. I have an idea and you will be the 5th to know… or the 6th, something like that.

I really have slacked on my blog, but I’ve not really kept up on the web lately. But instead of getting into that, I’ll let you know what has rattled my cage enough for me to blog something. Ignorance, racism and just plain ole dumbassery. I keep reading things about the “Ground Zero Mosque”, Arizona laws and looking at really dumb stuff going around in the world today.

I really don’t know what to think about things. Just because Barack got elected doesn’t mean that racist thoughts have gone down. Negative thoughts about Muslims and Latino’s are just nuts. I really get tried of seeing how crazy things are.

Also I was thinking about how racism is not limited to whites. I know this is a no-brainer, but racism is just racism. Remember that evil usually creates evil. Take it how you will, but it is just crazy how as American’s, we (collectively) try to act like we are as close to perfect as can be. That our way of live is the best. I won’t say that I don’t enjoy living in the U.S. of A., but it is ridiculous to act like we are perfect. When someone usually thinks that they are “top shit”, then they usually aren’t. When people act like they are the best, they usually stay blind to their flaws. The same could be applied to nations. It isn’t just America either.

It is just dumb to act superior. We try to use religion as the basis for some of these acts, but it isn’t right to use it as a shield for your bigotry and ignorance.

I want to write a story. Not a bunch of them, but at least one really good story.

I also want to do something that will impact many peoples lives.

I feel that one of these goals is really close, but the other seems so far away.

There was this kid that I was talking to the other day. I told him about the blessing of youth, time. When you are younger, you have time to recover. You can make a bad mistake and if you work hard, you can recover. You can fuck up a part of your life, but you can still recover. But as with most blessings, a curse usually follows.

Time is fools gold.

When you are younger, you have all the time in the world. Everything is in front of you and seems so far away. It takes so long for everything to happen. Life moves so slow. But in a flash, you start catching up to time and then you realize that now it is all behind you.

I told him that he has time to make mistakes, but he has to make sure that those mistakes don’t live on to hurt him. I told him that he can recover from making bad choices in life, but it will be harder than if he didn’t make those mistakes in the first place. I explained that while he might think that he has time, he really doesn’t. In one second, life can change, for better or for worse.

It is the same as you get older. Time seems to move so fast. There are things that I really want to do, but it always seems that time won’t allow it. But then when I stop and think about it, time was never the issue, it is my perception of it.

That is the story of my life. I rarely panic. I don’t get too nervous. I just keep on. but there are times that the weight of the world gets to me. And during those times I just seem to do nothing. Nothing at all. It is like my brain doesn’t want to work. It doesn’t want to allow me to do simple things. I start to feel lost and scatterbrained.

Lately there have been plenty of things that are really bothering me. The loss of a family member. Another situation that I won’t get into, but deep down really has me worried. There are other things going on also and I can’t seem to catch up at the moment. But like always, I will be fine. Hopefully the people around be will also.

I think that part of the reason that I act this way is because I think a lot about loss. I think a lot about death. But It just seems so unreal to me. Just something that I can’t comprehend. the idea of not having a person in your life anymore is a fearful thing. They just cease to exist.

I remember when my Grandmother passed. I don’t think that I’ve ever took something that hard before. I lost so much drive and I don’t think that I have been the same since. Probably because I was giving my all to make sure that she was fine during her last days. Now I feel like I am still trying to find rest from that time. I don’t know why I feel that way, but that was a really long time ago. But something so long ago can still affect me it seems.

Losing loved ones or potentially losing someone important to you is frightening, too frightening. Even for someone like myself that wonders how can I be so calm sometimes. But even when I am calm, panic still affects me.  The goal is to make sure that it doesn’t stick around to long.

If you buy a woman a drink, check to see if her lady friends want on also. If you can’t afford one, then maybe you need not to be at the club.

If you want offer a woman a drink, offer a glass of wine. You can’t go wrong with it.

Every man needs to own at least 3 to 4 suits.

A Razor lining is a must when getting your haircut. (does not apply for all people)

After your shower, put on baby oil then cologne. The baby oil and cologne will combine & the cologne will last longer.

During the summertime, there is nothing wrong with getting a facial. No woman likes a sweaty, greasing, oily face.

Have confidence in whatever u have on. If its a three piece suit to a sweatsuit, Have Confidence! Women love confidence!

Base your choice of cologne on what a woman would like, not what u would like.

Now most of these are some good tips, but I would say that the best tip would be to always be yourself. No matter what tips or strategies that you try to devise, you want someone to be attracted to you and not some persona that you made up. There was a time in my life that I was really timid, but it was because I was afraid to showcase my personality. I was afraid of being rejected and embarrassed. But when I finally got comfortable with the person that I was, I noticed that people accepted me. I didn’t have to try. People are drawn to people that believe in themselves. No matter if they are funny, silly, quiet, loud, nerdy, geeky or whatever.

I didn’t try to match up myself to attract others. I just was myself. There is no feeling worse than the feeling of someone liking you because of a false persona. Well maybe there is, but it still isn’t fun to have that floating in your head. If you get someone that is attracted to you because of your personality (and hopefully looks) it is almost game over. You don’t have to worry about being perfect or trying to go out of your way to impress someone. I’ll joke around with manlaws or tips, but the ones that I usually agree with are the ones that fit my lifestyle. If they don’t fit yours… then don’t do it. If you no likey, then don’t do it!

There is nothing like a person that is comfortable with themselves. You don’t have to dress a certain way or wear some fancy smell goods. It might not hurt, but make up your own rules that fit you. I can’t guarantee that you will be pimp of the year, but really pimpin’ ain’t easy but I also wouldn’t suggest that lifestyle choice either.

Today me and my sidekick, Nichole, went to a small family style diner. We got some good vittles and Nichole was beaming from a diner classic, Lemon Rice Soup. There is something special about diners. They are not fancy at all. Not pretentious or anything like that. A come as you are with decent food. Rarely amazing, but they still make some tasty grub.

While I love eating at dives, I prefer to have my food more upscale. I love going to little known places. It seems like a secret that is a shame to keep. Like Lucretia’s in Crown Point & Chesterton. Amazing food and the price is around the same as lame old OG. Fresh food and it tastes great. That is what I live for. Not some super chain that everyone knows about. That food isn’t prepared with the same type of love. The food that I want to eat is food that is made by someone who wants to impress me, not someone who wants to get as many stomachs in and out. I don’t want some flash frozen grub that is heated up in some fancy pan. I want some real food. I want a menu that contains weekly or even daily specials. Now that is good eating.

*Rant time.* Olive Garden is not a fancy joint. There is nothing really special about it at all. Now the breadsticks, soup and salad are good, but the food is one step about Fazolis. Dry sauces and poorly cooked dishes. There are plenty of better places. *Rant end.*

One of the things that I am doing is actually giving myself a bedtime. I am notorious for staying up late for no reason. It isn’t like I’m doing any work, I’m just up to be up. So now I’m going to bed at 11pm. That isn’t much of a problem, but the second part is, I’m waking up at 6am. I used to wake up early all the time, but during a period in my life, I didn’t have to be anywhere till later in the day and I learned the joy of oversleeping. It is a wonderful thing, but that is better saved for the weekends.

The main reason that I am changing my sleep habits is so I can attempt to have a better day. Time to relax in the morning as well as time to eat properly. Also I want to exercise again and that means that I need to take care of myself better.

Other things that I am doing is getting back to reading again and creating art. I put up a flickr feed on my sidebar so that I can share some work. I’ll also post about some of my artwork also. The reading part is also something that is important to me. I used to read a ton of books. Used to.

My days have been way too empty lately. I don’t always need to get out the house to enjoy myself, instead I need to find the things that I want to do and just do them. Reading, drawing and just slowing my life down just a bit. Maybe I’ll even blog more… but don’t hold your breath.

What makes me so important? Well besides me being a helluva guy, I would like to think that it is because I care. I care a lot. I care a lot about helping people and being their for my peoples.

Now you might wonder what got me to start typing this nonsense, so I think that I will. So I was looking at a blogpost that a friend wrote the other day. It had a convo that we had and just to know that something that I said helped them along really meant a lot to me. Also, today was the last home game for the girls and boys basketball teams that my school had. I wasn’t going to go, but a lot of students asked me throughout the day. Even though it really isn’t a big deal, it made me feel good that they wanted me to be there.

It isn’t just the big events in life that are important. It is the small things that can make a difference. The times that seem so insignificant, but at the same time so important because you took the extra step.

So, I’m feeling good because there are a lot of people that think that I’m important and I have to admit, they are kinda important to me too.

A large part of life is self control and when we decide to lose that control, fun times can be had or disasters can strike. Or somethings, nothing will happen. It is not black and while, it is sometimes shades of grey or a complete prism of possibilities that you would have imagined existed.

Some people have fooled themselves so much that the truth would be a lie. Me? Well, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to fooling myself on a regular basis.

Last week I was with some co-workers in a bar in Dyer and this random dude just started chatting me up for no reason at all. He started telling me about is ex girlfriend and how he is unemployed. Like almost off the bat. He was unsure whether to call me African American or Black. Well as long as he didn’t delve into the more controversial monikers, it was cool with me. He seemed to be a nice guy, but man, it was strange.

Later he commented on my build, which was strange and then pointed out that there were some girls that I might be interesting in hitting on. And stranger yet, after I told him no thanks, because I am married, he started to comment on my demeanor. Complemented me on the way I carried myself and so on. Like I said, he was a nice guy.

That was the most recent of strangers talking to me, but not the weirdest. Once a pregnant chick walked up to my car durning a hot summers day and asked me for a ride home. Her car broke down and she could tell that I was a nice guy.

Another time a lady told me her whole life story on the bus. Now that was uncomfortable. Oh the bus, when I rode in on a regular basis, I learned to take headphones with me in order to deter strange conversations with people.

Now all of the conversations that I have with strangers aren’t always bad. The other day I had a great random conversation with two different bar patrons and different times. It was fun and I exchanged information with one of the people

Random people can come in all shapes and sizes. And whether the conversation is fun or not, I’ll always have a story to tell.